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April 2026: How Am I Actually Doing? - An Interactive Guide to Your Needs, Capacity, and Care

 

We get asked all the time "how are you doing" but how often do we actually reflect on this question before just answering automatically? 

We're talking about actually taking a real pause to ask:

What do I need right now?

What do I have the capacity for?

Am I taking care of myself - or just getting through the day?

This blog post is going to feel different, because the goal is to create something that you don't just read, but rather experience and can come back to consistently. 

*At this time, we are going to ask that you pause and see if you have the time and capacity to participate in this check-in activity, and if not, come back at a time that you do.*

___________________________________________________________________________________

Before we dive into this activity, we need to take some moments to reorient and ground ourselves to the present moment. So take a slow breath in for four seconds...and out for four seconds...and repeat a few times. Unclench your jaw. Drop your shoulders and notice your muscles loosening and relaxing. 

Now ask yourself: 

  • What am I feeling right now? (If it's hard to name, start with: overwhelmed, tired, neutral, anxious, calm, disconnected, etc.)
  • Where do I feel this in my body?
  • If my feelings could speak, what would they say?

Next we are going to check in with our capacity - your current ability to handle tasks, emotions, responsibilities, and stress. Remember, capacity is not fixed - it changes all the time. 
  • On a scale from 1-10 (1=being none, 10=the most), how much capacity do I have right now?
  • What is contributing to my current capacity level?
  • Am I expecting myself to function at a higher level than my current capacity allows?
    • Reframe - "Given my current capacity, what is realistic for me today?"

Let's check in with our needs and wants next. We often blur lines between what we need and what we think we should be doing, so we are going to take a moment to separate them:
  • Your Needs - non-negotiables for wellbeing
    • rest, food, emotional support, boundaries, safety, breaks, etc. 
  • Your Wants - meaningful, but flexible)
    • productivity goals, social plans, hobbies, personal achievements, etc.
  • Now Reflect:
    • What do I need right now? (Be honest - even if it feels inconvenient)
    • What am I prioritizing instead of my needs? Why?
    • What would it look like to honor my needs today, even in a small way?

Next, we are going to give ourselves a gentle reality check...sometimes we push ourselves based on unrealistic/high expectations - not reality. So ask yourself:
  • Am I operating from pressure or intention?
  • Whose expectations am I trying to meet right now? Mine or someone else's?
  • If I gave myself permission to do "enough" instead of "everything," what would change?

Now that we've gained insight into our current functioning, it's time to be intentional with caring for ourselves. Self-care is often misunderstood as something extra or indulgent - but it's really about supporting your current needs and capacity. Instead of asking "What should I do?", ask:
  • What would feel supportive to me right now?
This could look like low energy things, such as: rest without guilt or higher energy things, such as: engaging in hobbies or connecting socially. You are the one that knows you best, and your version of self-care is going to look different than others. 


Lastly, we are going to turn self-criticism into awareness. Ask intentional questions such as: 
  • What did I learn about myself from this check-in?
  • What can I adjust moving forward today?
  • What do I need to let go of (pressure, expectations, guilt, etc.)

Checking in with yourself isn't a one-time activity - it's a practice. The goal isn't to always feel "good" or have everything figured out. It's to build a relationship with yourself where you notice what's going on internally, respond with awareness instead of autopilot, and treat yourself with the same care you offer others. 

Reminder, you don't have to wait until you're overwhelmed to start listening to yourself. Take care, Pioneers!

-TWU CAPS

Interested in other When Life Feels Messy content? 
Podcast - https://spotifyanchor-web.app.link/e/GmTJzrDjQAb
YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@whenlifefeelsmessy...
Instagram - Denton campus: @twucaps   Dallas campus: @twudal_caps   Houston campus: @twuhou_caps


Resources: 
TWU CAPS Denton Front Office - 940-898-3801
TWU CAPS Crisis Line - 940-898-4357
Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 988

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