Many individuals, especially young adults and college students, use self-harm as a way to cope with overwhelming emotions, yet stigma and misunderstanding often keep them suffering in silence.
College is often portrayed as an exciting time of self-discovery,
newfound independence, and personal growth. However, beneath the surface of
academic pressures, social expectations, and the struggle to find one’s place,
many students battle emotional pain that is not always visible. For some, this
pain manifests through self-injury—an often misunderstood and stigmatized
coping mechanism.
Self-injury, also known as self-harm or nonsuicidal self-injury (NSSI), refers to the deliberate act of harming one’s own body without suicidal intent. Common forms include cutting, burning, hitting, or scratching oneself.
For some of us, life stressors and transitions can feel overwhelming. If we don't have healthy coping mechanisms in place to help manage our emotions/feelings, self-injury can be seen as a "temporary release" or a way to regain a sense of control, especially if struggling with anxiety, depression, trauma, or perfectionism. Some common reasons people engage in self-harm include:
- Emotional regulation - used as a way to cope with overwhelming emotions or numb feelings of emptiness
- Self-Punishment - feeling undeserving of kindness or believing they must punish themselves for perceived failures
- Expression of pain - a way to externalize emotional distress when words fall short
- Sense of control - when life feels chaotic, self-injury may create an illusion of stability
Known as the "silent struggle", self-injury is often met with misunderstanding, leading to shame and isolation for those who struggle with it. Despite increased conversations about mental health, self-harm remains deeply misunderstood, often surrounded by stigma, shame, and harmful myths. This lack of understanding can prevent individuals from seeking the help they need and keep them trapped in silence. This stigma surrounding self-injury often leads to:
- Secrecy & Isolation: Many people hide their wounds due to fear of judgment
- Guilt and shame: Internalized stigma can make individuals feel broken or unworthy of help
- Barriers to seeking support: Fear of being misunderstood may prevent someone from opening up to a friend, therapist, or loved one
There are also some big myths about self-injury that cause more harm than good. As you read these below, check-in with your own beliefs and biases about self-injury. Some common myths include:
Myth #1: “People who self-harm are just seeking attention.”
Truth: Most individuals who engage in self-injury go to great lengths to hide their wounds. Self-harm is often a deeply personal and private struggle, not a call for attention but rather a way to cope with emotional pain.
Myth #2: “Only teenagers engage in self-harm.”
Truth: While self-injury often begins in adolescence, it is not limited to teens. Many college students and adults struggle with it as well. The pressures of young adulthood, such as academic stress, social isolation, and past trauma, can contribute to self-injurious behaviors.
Myth #3: “Self-harm means someone is suicidal.”
Truth: While self-harm and suicidal thoughts can co-exist, they are not the same. Many people use self-injury as a coping mechanism to manage emotional distress rather than as an attempt to end their lives. However, self-harm can increase the risk of suicidal ideation over time, which is why early intervention and support are essential.
Myth #4: “If someone self-harms, they can just stop if they really want to.”
Truth: Self-harm can be compulsive and serve as a temporary relief from emotional pain. For some, it becomes an addictive coping mechanism that is difficult to break without learning healthier alternatives and addressing the underlying distress.
Myth #5: “Only people with a mental illness self-harm.”
Truth: While self-harm is common among individuals with depression, anxiety, PTSD, and borderline personality disorder, not everyone who engages in self-injury has a diagnosed mental health condition. Self-harm is a behavior, not a diagnosis, and it stems from various emotional struggles.
Finding Healthier Ways to Cope:
If you are someone who struggles with self-injury, know that you're not alone and there are other alternatives to help you cope in ways that are essential to long-term healing. Some of these include:
- Journaling: Writing down thoughts and feelings can be a powerful outlet.
- Physical activity: Exercise releases endorphins, which can help regulate mood.
- Creative expression: Art, music, or poetry can provide a safe space to process emotions.
- Mindfulness and grounding techniques: Deep breathing, meditation, or using a stress ball can help manage intense emotions.
- Talking to someone: Whether it’s a trusted friend, professor, or counselor, opening up can alleviate the burden.
- Seeking Support: You Are Not Alone
If you are someone who knows someone that is struggling with self-injury or just want to be informed and aware of how you can help, here are some key ways to do that:
Do: Be someone they can tell! Learn how to listen, be trustworthy, and support those who confide in you.
Do: Help others know that there are lots of ways to feel better without harming themselves! You can even offer to explore some of those ways with them.
Do: Highlight other coping mechanisms that may be safe and effective alternatives.
Don’t: Panic. Just remain calm to help provide a safe space for the other person.
Don’t: Pressure someone to share more than they are comfortable with or show you wounds or scars.
Don’t: Be dismissive or judgmental about what others choose to share.
It's also important that we educate ourselves and others to challenge harmful myths about self-injury. It is crucial to recognize that self-injury is not about seeking attention or being "dramatic"—it is a sign of deep emotional pain that requires compassion and support. This month serves as a crucial reminder that self-injury is not about seeking attention but about managing deep emotional pain. By fostering open conversations, providing education, and promoting healthier coping strategies, we can create a culture of compassion and support. Healing is possible, and no one should have to struggle alone.
Take Care, Pioneers!
-TWU CAPS
Interested in other When Life Feels Messy content?
Podcast - https://spotifyanchor-web.app.link/e/GmTJzrDjQAb
YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@whenlifefeelsmessy...
Instagram - @twucaps and @twudalhou_caps
Resources:
TWU CAPS Denton Front Office - 940-898-3801
TWU CAPS Crisis Line - 940-898-4357
Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 988
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