Skip to main content

December 2022: Grief & the Holidays

Hello Pioneers and welcome to the December blog! 

You might be surprised to see that this month's topic isn't necessarily "holly jolly". Our society has a great way of painting the holiday season as bright, cheerful, and a time for happiness and memories, but that's not the case for everyone. We expand more on this in the podcast for this month, but specifically for this blog post we want to talk about grief and the holidays. 

As we know, grief is universal and something we all have/will experience in our lifetimes, as death is a part of life. But even though it's something everyone will experience, it's not something that people like to talk about or give space to. It seems a common trend in society is to avoid the hard feelings of grief and instead expect grieving individuals to put on a positive and happy "mask" so that others aren't affected. Specifically surrounding our topic, we see this come up around the holidays when others might make hurtful, insensitive, or judging comments about our grief, especially if it feels that it impacts their own happiness or holiday season. When others aren't able to hold space for our grief or tend to not feel that they know what to do, their words and actions can make us feel even worse. We also have to remember that everyone grieves differently, because grief is personal and doesn't follow a timeline or schedule. 

But we want to provide support to you if you find yourself not looking forward to the holidays or enjoying this time of year due to your grieving. Your grief is valid and you are more than allowed to experience the stages of grief on your own time. Speaking of that, let's do a refresher on the stages of grief:
  • Shock & Denial: 
    • The news and feelings haven't fully sunk in yet and you are in a state of disbelief and numbed feelings. 
  • Pain & Guilt: 
    • The loss might feel unbearable and that your feelings and needs are impacting others
  • Anger & Bargaining: 
    • This is where you might experience anger, which is normal, and start bargaining to a higher power or yourself for relief of these feelings and this situation
  • Depression: 
    • The variety of emotions you experience can lead to feelings of depression, isolating yourself, having anxiety, and feeling dread
  • The Upward Turn: 
    • This is the point where stages of anger and pain have died down some and you're left in a more calm and relaxed state
  • Reconstruction & Working Through: 
    • This is where you begin to put the pieces of your life back together and move forward
  • Acceptance & Hope: 
    • This is where very gradual acceptance of the new way of life and a feeling of possibility for the future
As you continue to process through your grief, remember that you must also take care of yourself. There are many ways to do this, but take intentional time for yourself to do things that nourish you, such as, going outside, spending time with pets, being creative, reading a book, etc. It's important to provide yourself with a little extra comfort and love during these hard times, so make sure you are making yourself a priority. 

Remember, your grief is personal and unique and you are not required to feel "happy" during the holidays. Make sure you understand your limits and needs this holiday season and take some time for you. If spending a whole day with family and friends seems like too much, then listen to yourself and only spend the amount of time you can handle. Another thing you can try when you're ready is finding ways to keep your lost loved ones, whether person or pet, there in spirit. We will let you get creative on how to do this, but making this a family/friend activity can help with feeling that they are still part of the holidays. 

As always, if you feel that you need additional help/support to grieve or that you find yourself stuck in the process, reach out to your CAPS team or other mental health professionals. Grief is not something have to process alone and you are not a burden to others to need help in talking and working through your grief. 

Wishing you peace and rest this holiday season, 
Your TWU CAPS Team 




Interested in other When Life Feels Messy... content? 
Podcast - https://anchor.fm/when-life-feels-messy/episodes/EP-5-Unhappy-Holidays-e1rer2e
YouTube - https://youtu.be/HrjEqIkgS9E
Instagram - @twucaps and @twudalhou_caps


TWU CAPS Contact Information:
Denton Front Office - 940-898-3801
Crisis Line - 940-898-4357


References: 
https://www.healthline.com/health/stages-of-grief
https://www.eterneva.com/resources/self-care-during-grief-tips



Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

September 2023: Suicide Survivors of Loss

Resources for Suicide Prevention https://988lifeline.org/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=web&utm_campaign=onebox https://www.samhsa.gov/newsroom/suicide-prevention-month https://988lifeline.org/how-we-can-all-prevent-suicide/ https://www.nami.org/Get-Involved/Awareness-Events/Suicide-Prevention-Month https://www.dhs.gov/employee-resources/news/2023/09/06/september-suicide-prevention-and-awareness-month https://www.nimh.nih.gov/get-involved/digital-toolkit-for-suicide-prevention-month Resources for Loss Survivors of Suicide https://sprc.org/tools/resources-survivors-suicide-loss/ https://afsp.org/taking-care-of-yourself/ https://988lifeline.org/help-yourself/loss-survivors/ https://afsp.org/ive-lost-someone/ https://allianceofhope.org/ https://health.maryland.gov/bha/suicideprevention/Documents/What%20Survivors%20of%20Suicide%20Want%20You%20to%20Know.pdf https://loss.helplinecenter.org/suicide-loss-and-grief/ https://dr-kari.com/my-approach/common-humanity#:~:text=This%20idea%20of...
Post a Comment
Read more

May 2023: The Connection Between Music and Mental Health

  If we were to ask you right now to name one song that always makes you feel more positive, lighter, and calmer...what song would you share with us?  Maybe even thinking about the song had a reaction for you or made you want to play it (which we highly encourage at any point!) Music is something enmeshed in our daily lives, but do you ever just think about the psychological impact it has on you? Well, buckle up because this blog post is ALL about the powerful connection between music and our mental health.  A lot of research has come out about the link between music and brain/mental health and how listening and making music has been identified as a critical way to preserve and enhance our brain's health. This includes promoting mental well-being, increasing social connection, and stimulating thinking skills. And, yes, music can be a huge source of pleasure for us, but it also relaxes the mind, energizes our bodies, and can even help people manage pain.  And if you r...
Post a Comment
Read more

February 2024: Is Your Body Image Impacting Your Dating Life/Relationships?

With February being Body Awareness Month and also the "month of love" according to the Valentine's holiday, we are going to dive into how body image can have an impact, both positive and negative, on your dating life and relationships.  But what actually is body image? It's definitely a term that has come up more in the last few years, especially with the various "Body Positive" movements, but in our experience, there isn't always clarity on what exactly it stands for and represents. So let's define it before looking at it's impact.   Body image refers to an individual's perception, thoughts, and feelings about their own body. It involves how one sees themselves when they look in the mirror, how they feel about their body size, shape, and appearance, and the thoughts and beliefs they have about their physical self. Body image is a subjective experience and can be influenced by various factors, including societal standards, media representatio...
Post a Comment
Read more